Title Image: Das Blaue Haus, Holbein Acryla Gouache and Schmincke Acrylic Ink.
A painting I finally finished after 2 months, in a total of approx. 10-15 hours.
My life and the pace in which I make art have changed a lot these past two years.
The biggest change is that I became employed, giving me more security, and more freedom, in some ways, but also putting more constraints on my free time. I might be wrong, but this seems to be the trend among many illustrators and people wanting to pursue this path nowadays.
The second biggest change is that my ex-illustration agency let go of me last year, and ever since then, I’ve had to act as my own marketer, negotiator and accountant, on top of everything else.
This year I vowed that I wouldn’t let that stop me, that I could embrace the indie spirit and make it on my own, work on my own dream projects, and be the illustrator I feel that I am and always wanted to be. However, I ended up putting way too much on my plate, and by April/May, I was operating on perpetual stress mode.
Bamboo Dreams, I explain my full process here!
I finally had to admit that, no, I could not work on 2 or 3 extra projects after work. That being only part-time employed still means that a significant chunk of my week is already occupied. And that between grocery shopping and cleaning and pet care and reading mails and starting a community project and whatever else is required to stay functional, regeneration time is a non-negotiable.
I finally had to admit that whatever I wanted to achieve, whatever dreams I wanted to fulfil, well, those would just have to wait a little longer. And maybe that’s a good thing, because time, and the challenges and epiphanies that come with it, often crystallise the best parts out of us.
Making stickers + sketching in Padua and my local café
Though I haven’t read Atomic Habits by James Clear, there’s an idea from it that I really like: Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become.
So maybe I no longer have all the time in the world, but what is one small thing I can do today, this week, this month, to keep the ball rolling?
Song forever.
A little doodle in memory of my dog. Doodle whatever makes me smile. Finish that painting I started two months ago. Go out sketching with a friend. Dye and print some t-shirts to print on further down the line.
I promise, people, there is so much I wish to work on and share, if only it weren’t for the time. For now, this will have to do.
Dyeing some t-shirts for printing down the line…
If you’re anything like me, I invite you to commiserate, but to also keep believing in yourself and your capabilities. Reflect on and list all the ways you’re already working as an artist, illustrator, etc. and hold onto that. Use that to keep showing up to the page, no matter what small way it is.
At the end of the day, I am an illustrator because I care deeply about the pictures that I make. Please, please do not confuse this with “I would do it, even for free” — no! I believe in fair compensation for artists, because artwork is work. But even stronger than that, I feel a movement within me, pushing me towards more handmade-ness, more imperfection — because nowadays, pictures are so easy to make, even AI can do it. I believe we should celebrate our humanity in art, lest we lose it completely.
